It's Never Too Late to Become an Ally

The new year signifies change, a fresh start. While that may only be representational, there is truth that every day you wake up you can choose to change or remain the same.

My name is Tabitha. To give some context, I’m a white woman who grew up in a rural, mostly white town thinking I was already an ally.

In late 2014 I first heard of the Black Lives Matter movement. Having been raised to believe all people are equal and not understanding that the system we live in is inherently racist, the saying triggered me. I quickly fell to the argument all lives matter and stopped listening.

Fast forward to 2020. For four years I experienced a measure of feeling like my rights, my life, my voice didn’t matter. I spent those years learning more about the circumstances and experiences of others; I spent that time educating myself and really listening to people who challenged my understanding. In 2020, a year where I heard more people discussing, some arguing, the disparities in treatment between whites and the BIPOC community, I had changed. I was an ally of Black Lives Matter.

It’s not easy to admit my flaws and mistakes, but I wanted to share that we can choose to change. It can take time. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I shifted or what conversation, research, or book was the turning point for me, but I can share that I’m not perfect. I still need to do and be better as an ally, which means making the choice every day I wake up to change for the better; not just my better, but better for those around me.

If you’re on your own journey of choosing to change or trying to be a better ally, I have a few recommendations:
1. Listen to others who challenge what you believe! Ask questions, talk through your varying opinions and perceptions. You may walk away with nothing changed, but a seed grows and your perception – or theirs – could be different later.

2. Read about someone else’s perspective. They say “history is written by the victors.” What constitutes a victor? We could easily say history is written by the oppressors. I personally valued “So You Want to Talk About Race” by Ijeoma Oluo, because I do want to talk about race. We can’t be allies and be silent.

3. Take action! To truly be a catalyst for change, we can’t just learn about a problem, we have target the root cause of it. For some ideas on how to take action see this earlier AMA PDX post.